I don't like CRAP!

Last time I wrote about pets, I didn't have anything other than two cannibalistic fish (read about them here). But, as some of you know, shortly before Thanksgiving 2010, my husband gave in to our wildest wishes and let us get a dog, Xanny.

Xanny is short for Xanadu. Xanadu is the 80's movie with Olivia Newton-John... you know, where it's like a fantasy and awesome place, and just a great movie in general... Xanadu is also a legendary, ancient, heaven-like Chinese city, pronounced Shàngdū, once visited by Marco Polo. It has a lot of history and even more meaning.

So, we call our wonderful miracle that we ever got her Xanny, pronounced Zan-nee. She embodies all that we have ever wished for and suits her name, as it is as close to anything heavenly will see on this earth. It was also better than the girls' other choice, Odette, as Xanny looks nothing like an "Odette." And so her "look" chose the name.

But... if you read my previous post (the one mentioned above...), you know I have issues. With Xanny, some of my issues have been taken care of.

She is a poodle mix. Aha! Yes! You can have a dog without fur issues! Hahaha! Neener, neener! And you all thought it wouldn't happen. And so, our dog barely sheds. She sheds MUCH less than us girls and is small and furry and cuddly and all that. She even listens to me ramble and loves me unconditionally, like every daughter dog should. She is one of my best friends and stays quiet for my our walk in the mornings. And I like it like that.

Oh! You remembered I have other issues? Oh shit crap! That's exactly what I'm talking about... C.R.A.P., POOP, that is. And that's the question, if you could change anything about your pet, what would it be? I would either make her crap smell like roses... well, not roses, because those really don't smell very well and can be totally overly pungent and leave me with a heady-passing-out-type of feeling. So... let's go with honeysuckle. I'd like her crap to smell like honeysuckle, which is mild and slightly sweet to the nostrils.

And if my doggy's crap smelled like honeysuckle, then maybe I wouldn't have to hold my breath and puff out my cheeks when I picked it up, because... like my other post said, you knew the kids weren't going to do it.

And another thing... I'd make those little shitty crappy useless organs that dogs have (renal glands) gone... POOF! There you have it. A completely gross thing that needs to be done every couple of weeks... expressing the renal glands... Do you really want to know? Then go here to see a video on youtube... It's pretty gross!

But, no matter how her crap smells, and what glands I have to express, I will continue to do what I need to do for her, because I love her... unconditionally, just like a mom owner should love their daughter dog.