Raving, Ranting, and Waving My Hands

It's time to... RANT! Yes, it's been a while, but I should be able to get it all out, right? Uh, huh...

And here I go!

Remember those "friends" I mentioned before? Well, ayuh. Drama ensued last week, shortly after I'd posted about it. Go figure. Whatever.

It's odd to me that people remember only what is convenient for them and rationalize it all.

Like I said before... moving on. So not worth it.

Next up? I've been trying to catch up on some blog reading and commenting (everyone needs to feel the love once in a while, right?). And it is so BUGGERSOME that some bloggers have all kinds of protection tools on them. I'm generally ok with that, however, some of the things Blogger is putting up lately are so distorted, it may take several tries. It literally makes me want to stop commenting. (Understand though, my rant is at Blogger, itself, not the writers.) But, because I'm me, and I'd want someone to comment, not just lurk... I go ahead and retry, until the comment is either published or off to moderation.

Personally, I keep the pop-ups and word-verification off.  The only moderation I use is for 14 days old or more posts. I generally like to encourage rather than discourage people from commenting. Although... I still don't get much. There are always the lurkers.

Then, there are the stalkers... lol! If someone has nothing better to do than to read a blog to get information on someone that you know and Facebook, as well... then I laugh at you. Pick up the phone and call or text them. Open up your laptop and send an email or message them on some social network. Don't "do" things that affect your relationship based on what you read. If you are guilty of miscommunication, then communicate!

In today's technological times, communication has become horrible. People misconstrue so much and completely jump to conclusions. Then, they act out harshly and immaturely.  Grow up, people! Life is not Facebook. Life is not rumors and texting or forwarded emails. They have no clue unless you talk specifically to the person they are angry at or acting out at.

I wrote a post yesterday about my daughter and how she acts... Why I wouldn't necessarily be her "friend"... I wondered where she learned these behaviors from. I sort of knew they were learned from other kids.

Parents! Behave in front of your children. Teach your children the way YOU want to be treated. When you constantly show your children your own childish and impetuous tantrums, how do you expect them to act? They mimic you. YOU are their idols! They look up to you. And they should. So please... Do society a favor by teaching your children respect, kindness, compassion, courtesy (I believe that's a long-forgotten trait), honesty, and above all... support.

We all need to support each other to make society grow in a good way. By showing our children bad mannerisms and many destroyed friendships/relationships, we are teaching them how to have a completely dysfunctional life. And THIS contributes to a damaged society.

And just so you know... simple words can make any one's day. "Thank you," or other words of appreciation are always welcomed by others. Please don't forget that.

Now as for the RAVE...

I'm going to RAVE about all the people who ARE supportive and really try to do their best. You are unselfish and AWESOME! Great job. Even those of you who don't have kids, you still are out there setting a great example. We need a great many more role models like you.

Rave again... for all the people who visited and commented last week. I appreciate you. It is always fabulous to know I am not writing to myself... Yes, I'm crazy, but not that crazy!!! I hope you all continue to come back as I continue on and keep trying... THANK YOU! Peace out!

Mama Kat's Losin' It! Writing Prompt 5... It's a Doozy!

This week, up at Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, there's a whole bunch of prompts to choose from.

I could... write about summer where I'm at. Um... it would be too simple... and boring. It's hot. I run the kid around most of the day and cater to my husband. Oh. And do normal household chores. Not much to tell...

I could... write about what I've done on Pinterest (one of my FAVORITE time-sucking sites!). I've done so much and (unlike Mama Kat) don't have a board of "What I've Tried", although... NOW I'm going to start one. It's such a fabulous idea. And so... I'd have to search through literally THOUSANDS of pins to find them, so I won't... today. Another day... maybe. It's a new goal. 

As a writer that needs some push sometimes, I felt the need to go with something that I might not want to do. It might hurt. Heck, it will hurt me. So... here we go. 

5.) When you were your youngest child’s age, what were you like? Would you have been friends with your child? Why or why not?

My youth has a lot of memories. Memories that I remember and cherish, and memories I'd really really like to forget. Pinpointing an age brings those harsh memories flooding back.

I was 8. I was in third grade. I wasn't perfect, but I was compassionate. I read a lot. My friends and I were all "smart". School smart. We all got straight A's and we read. We used big words that a lot of 8-year-olds don't even know, but we did... and we knew what they meant. And we sang LOTS of folk-type songs (music was a big thing in my school... you know before the horrible budget stuff all happened).  We respected all adults.  I had a few really close friends. We'd go stay the night at each other's houses, brush each other's hair. We shared our hopes, our dreams... everything... almost. But... I didn't share my secrets. My secrets would make me different. My secrets would make my friends think I was weird... or so I thought...

My secrets, even as an 8-year-old, were very dark. Things were going on in my life that I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. I'll simplify it to say like many many children, all over the world, I was  abused as a child. I was told not to tell anybody. I loved the person who abused me and didn't want that person to be in trouble or "go away forever". And so... I didn't.  I'm sure because of this secret, I appeared "weird" anyway. I'd always think that everybody knew. And they just were my friends out of pity, that they felt sorry for me. (and just so ya know... I've had "the talk" with all my kids. They know that if anybody touches them in an inappropriate place or manner or says anything to that affect, to tell me or someone else with authority. It's not their fault.)

Another secret was that I was "adopted". Not in the "full" sense, but by my step-father. Why nobody was supposed to know... I'll never understand. It's really not that big of a deal. But when you are the only blond person in a brunette family, and you say they're your parents... people, especially kids, just kinda don't believe you.

So, in a nutshell, I hid a lot of things. I still do. But... I was a great friend, as were my friends. We supported each other, very rarely had any type of argument, and agreed on so many things.

My daughter on the other hand...

My youngest child is 8. She's beautiful, she's fabulous, she's very outgoing. But... she's a brat. So are her friends.

In today's world, kids are a bit different. 

They are so much more competitive. "I call that!" OMGosh! It gets on my nerves. Things they can't even touch, things on the tv. Apparently, only one kid at a time can "like" something. Because... someone already "called it". So weird. They are always all trying to compete with each other for who did what the most or who knew who longer. Like it even EVER matters...

When times were different...
I still love the crap out of this little girl!

Then there are the parents that pretty much let their children do everything. My kid is NOT perfect, by any means. But... I had a parent and child come over once. The child decided to bounce and throw a ball in my house. The ball hit a glass globe (and that's how I found out... by the "clink"). I quickly came out of the kitchen and said, "There's no ball-throwing or bouncing in the house. You guys can go in the back yard and do that." I am not kidding, the child wrapped her arms around the ball, turned to the mom and said, "Mom..." (Total lack of respect here, huh?) And the mom replied, "It's one of her rules. I guess her house isn't child-proof." Umm... Wow. As far as I know and knew (at the time), it's a staple rule in most homes. It's just not something you DO! Anyway... getting to my point...

My daughter is surrounded by this type of disrespectful attitude and often has to be reminded to respect adults, opinions, and people, in general. (At least when I'm around. I sure hope she acts better when I'm not.)

All these kids argue a lot. They pick little things about each other and "not like" each other anymore. All. The. Time. There is more drama in an 8-year-old's life today than I ever remember. Someone will start a "group" and have all those kids "not like" someone because they are wearing ugly shoes that day. My kid gets her feelings hurt easily and a lot. I try to toughen her up, but it still happens. No... I'm not saying she gets bullied, by any means. I just see that she can't take it very well. But I know that she does it too. She gets the "talk to" all the time from me. About how to treat people. About how to be a good friend. About how not to spread rumors and start them, too. (I volunteer a lot at the school and am amazed by the gossip these kids generate. It is craziness, I tell ya!)

 

There are times, though, when my daughter is very caring... very loving... very compassionate... a very good kid. But it's all the times that she's not which makes me say...

In another nutshell.  No.  I would not be my child's friend. Then again, I wouldn't be friends with MOST of these kids today. I wouldn't "not like" them, I just wouldn't be friends with them. It blows me away. I'll continue to counsel and teach my daughter about friendship and other replationships. I hope it's within her to be the person I'd like her to be, instead of the majority of the time being a little Diva-ous Brat. And make no questions about it. I love my daughter. It's just the journey to her becoming a grown-up that is frustrating.

Thanks for visiting and getting the inside scoop of my head. I said this post would hurt. It hurts in more ways than one. Re-living my childhood and admitting I wouldn't be my daughter's friend. One day, I hope things will change on the latter. 

Getting off that topic, please go visit Mama Kat and visit all the other wonderful writers who inspire me all the time and help me to want to keep writing, as well.

Some Kids Can Be Cruel - Others Can Be Awesome!

Last Saturday, we were going to a birthday party. It was a bittersweet day for Marissa (6-year-old), because this was the last birthday party for the two little girls (whose birthday it was) here. (They are moving to another state in the middle of the country at the endish of the month.) And she was sad about it.

She took her time in getting ready. My daughter, who doesn't usually like to dress up, wear earrings, do her hair, etc... took lots of pain-staking time to plan her outfit. She matched her top and her bottom. She matched the bling that was on her top to a headband that had bling, too. Since the headband was blue, she chose her favorite blue snowman socks (her top and bottom was black and white). And well... Twinkletoes (Skechers) just go with everything, I mean... A girl can wear bling, right? But she asked me to put in bling-y earrings, and she brushed her hair until it was soft.

And then... she did something that is fairly new to her, she lightly misted herself with body spray. And she was ready.

Me? My heart poured and pulsed with pride, overflowing, I could feel it pounding in my chest. She was SO proud of herself. And I was proud of her, too.

Off we went to the party...

Things were good to begin with. But somewhere... something happened. And I had a 6-year-old bawling, crawling onto my lap. She curled herself up in a ball, burying her face in my neck and told me she wanted to go home. My heart clenched in pain with each rack of sobs. I got her to calm down a little bit and she was able to get out the story...

Another girl had told her (rather nastily) that she didn't match for anything. Only her top and bottom did. And I understood the pain she felt.

Her pride and her feelings were now mortally hurt. She felt less than nothing. Like she could do nothing right.

Now... I know some of you are thinking, "What's the big deal? It's nothing." But, please remember... this was a major effort that she undertook, and she was so proud she did it on her own. I believe in letting children identify with themselves. Unless it's for an appointed photo, let them dress how they want and choose who they want to be (within reason, of course... let's not have gang-bangers and Madonna's at 6, please!). And my little girl is on the way to discovering her own style... herself.

Yes, there are times when I want to say, "NOOOO! Put that back...!" But... that day... her logic was there and she had gone through it piece by piece, and it didn't look bad, it looked like a little girl had picked her outfit and she was trying to say something about herself.

Ok... off my soapbox and back to the story...

I asked Marissa which little girl it was, and what was she wearing. Between sniffles, she told me. (By the way... by now, my shirt was pretty drenched and it looked like I had been breastfeeding and leaked... but I'm okay with that!) Of course, I couldn't be obvious and pull a Linda Blair act, as she was somewhere behind me, so I waited until she was in line for the upcoming game and within my eyesight. Daggers and dirty looks were being sent over our way... for no reason. Apparently, when someone does something to someone else, even if that someone else doesn't do anything back to you, dirty looks and huffy attitudes are the thing to do... *I'm not sure of the other little girl's age... but, she looked to be somewhere between 9 and 11.

The hostess came around asking if the kids were going to play a game. She wanted to know why Marissa wasn't going to play. So, I briefly told her, and also let her know Marissa was going to be okay. After all, I really don't want to get anyone in trouble. It just takes time to calm a kid down. She told my daughter how beautiful she looked and that she loved her outfit.

The hostess asked which little girl it was. I told her. (YES! I was a snitch!!! But I did it so that in the future, Marissa wasn't placed next to her for any reason...) She then pulled the other girl out of the line and talked to her privately. She came back to us and told Marissa, "Marissa, you look absolutely beautiful! You are at a party, and YOU are supposed to have fun and not worry about people being mean. The other little girl is on a big time out, so please come and play with us."

And Marissa did. The other little girls were so nice to her and gathered around to include her... it was... WOW! My daughter had the best day ever, after that. She enjoyed herself to the fullest.

My friend, the hostess, is truly what the phrase "the hostess with the mostest" is. Because of her grace and kindness, and the other little girls just enjoying the party, too... my daughter had the time of her life. And she didn't go home early. She got to spend precious time with her friends.



please forgive the fuzziness of the photo my 17-yo lacks focusing skills (ha, ha!)



The other little girl? I don't know why she was that way that day... but I was told (by my hostess friend) that she is always like that, but it's not okay for her to ruin the party for others. I'm sure there's something underlying somewhere, and I hope one day she overcomes her anger with the world, but it saddens me that it had to be that way.

Maybe if she let's those awesome "other" girls surround her with their awesomeness, some of it will rub off... just like it did on my daughter... so that she, too, can have the time of her life.

***And to my hostess friend... if you are reading this, THANK YOU! from the bottom of my heart for making a little girl feel good about herself again. Because you know... little girls don't always believe their mothers. And you will be missed. I love you!

Another Rainy Day...

So many of us are saying, "Who says it doesn't rain in California?" As, we were rained on last week and so far... a couple of days this week. This week, however, has been littered with tornado warnings, lots of thunder and lightening, and small amounts of hail. Very rare for us, but should make a nice trip to Big Bear... hopefully sometime soon.


Miss Marissa has been such a joy to my heart and sometimes... oh such a pain. Today, we went through massive dramatics to get her dressed to go to class. She doesn't want to wear anything but her "old" clothes and flip-flops. Well, guess what? Who should win this war? Me! She seriously needs to wear other things than the same exact thing every day. No one wants to wash that much!


She is seriously into the tattling stage. AND it totally gets on my nerves!!! Today, she tattled that another little girl "punched" her. Ok... I get it if a kid is getting hurt, but this was nothing. The poor little girl was only rocking back and forth, on her knees, and happened to bump into our little Missy. Seriously? NO BIG DEAL! And then add the older girls (Miss Marissa's sisters)... they are getting to be just as bad. Is this ever going to end? I presumed that as the girls got older, they would "mature"... But, they seem to be regressing into a younger age and showing their lack of maturity. Yikes!


Trying to get an almost five-year-old to act her age is extremely difficult, especially when you have older siblings around that are definitely acting like teenagers. I would love it if respect and kindness once more found a place in my home. But, unfortunately, it seems to be infiltrating into the heart and mind of my little one. It makes me really sad. I hate to punish the older kids for something all of their friends are allowed to do, but hey! I gotta get control of the situation and nip this in the bud before it gets any worse. What they don't realize is how hurtful it is. I'm sure they won't want to be treated that way from their future children... if they ever have any...


On a different note... my "wonderful" husband (although he does have his faults!) surprised me with tickets to see the Eagles in concert at the Hollywood Bowl in April. This should be a blast... especially since I though the concert-going portion of our lives was over. Move over! There is a "New Kid in Town!" Maybe he's changing for the better.


Different topic... if any of you Californians out there have done your state taxes yet... have you seen the dramatic changes in the exemption amounts? It completely bites the big one! Last year, we were able to deduct $309 (or something like that) per dependent. This year, it is a measly $98 (same as standard deduction per filer). Whoa! So... needless to say, this year we owe as to the previous years, where we had a little or none coming back. I really don't care for that. But... we all have to help with the bailout. We all took cuts somewhere, and hikes (in prices) elsewhere... did the big boys up north all get jacked, too?

The rain is still pouring (as is California's money going... where?), so it's time to enjoy some comfort food... tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches... Mmm... mmm... good (think the Campbell's slogan of yesteryear, if you don't get it).

Ping-Pong Ball Ornaments

Ok... another excerpt from My Christmas Craft Book for Kids... This one, I'm seriously going to do after Christmas this year. I am tired of this icky garland I have. It is a combination of a nice full-size garland and this wanna-be 99-cent Store kind of stuff. It is wrapped in lights with ornaments hot-glued to it... No biggie, but the ornaments keep breaking in storage, being put up, taken down, etc. So... my thoughts? (If affordable)... To purchase the really cool wired branch-style garland in the after Christmas sales and attach these customized ornaments to them! I'll tell you my other thoughts after the instructions...

PING-PONG ORNAMENTS
No one would guess these stunning ornaments are made from Ping-Pong balls. You can use paint, glitter, and a few trimmings to make bright and colorful patterns, and ornaments that will make any Christmas tree shine.

YOU WILL NEED:
Darning needle
Ping-Pong balls
Wooden skewers
Poster Paint (I used acrylic paint); paintbrushes and sponges
Braid and trimmings
All-Purpose glue
Glitter
Matching Thread

1. Use the darning needle to make a hole through the top and bottom of each Ping-Pong ball. Ask an adult to help you do this. Push a wooden skewer through the holes – this will stop the ball from moving while you are decorating it.

2. Paint the Ping-Pong balls in bright colors. Leave to dry. If the first coat of paint looks a little patchy, add another coat. Leave the paint to dry completely.

3. Wrap braid around the center of the ball, or from the top to the bottom. Secure the ends with glue. To add glitter, dab glue on the ball and sprinkle with glitter. Leave to dry.

4. When the ornament is decorated, carefully remove the wooden skewer. Thread the needle with fairly thick thread and push it through the holes from bottom to top and then back down again to make a hanging loop. Knot the ends of the thread to finish.

and Voila! Pretty cool, huh? Ok... so my take? I am probably going to attach pics of the kids each year to various different balls, and Modge-Podge them to seal and protect. I was also thinking along the lines of beads, wire... you know... fun stuff! And! I was thinking that I could totally use my heat gun to set the glue faster and/or add embossing to them. The possibilities are endless!

Yes, you could probably use styrofoam, but... since mine would be permanently attached to my garland, I didn't want them to get crushed, so the Ping-Pong balls are perfect (and light!).

Anyway, gotta finish my organizational project for the day... Toodles for now! lisa

Everybody Has a Bug!

Yikes! I didn't feel well last night and didn't sleep well at all... didn't get anything done, either. What a way to spend the night. I couldn't sleep, just tossed and turned, and got up, paid my respects to the throne room, came back and went through the whole routine again.

I know friends of mine have been ill, and I know I was ill (and still partially feeling it this morning), but... did you guys have to pass it on to my computer?

I think it's sick, too! Yesterday, items weren't going to the printer. It (the printer) kept "refreshing" itself. I mean, come on! How much does the printer have to primp to make things come out pretty? Pretty much, it took forever to print something, then took forever to cancel it.

Then, I tried to "crop" a photo. I had accidentally left Rey's full name in the photo (see Wednesday's entry) and had to take that out. Silly me. I know better than to put that kind of information in a post, don't I? And I preach so much to my girls about internet safety... You would think I would've thought of that before I posted the picture... Nevertheless, it is fixed, now. However, it wouldn't "fix" at first. The ill thing (the computer) kept telling me I did not have enough memory, and shut down the program. "You've got to be kidding!" ran through my mind. So, I did a system clean out and freed up enough space to fix the photo. Posted it (everything ran extremely slow), and moved on to more tasks.

I consider myself fairly computer savvy. Mind you, I'm no tech-y, just a normal average "joe-ette", who can do a lot, but not everything. So, I thought I'd clean out my system even more and ran some bot checks. Something that usually only takes a half hour to an hour took over four! Since this binds up the system a lot, needless to say, I didn't get much done on the computer yesterday. The bot checks got done, and I restarted the computer, only to have...

THE PRINTER GO BERSERK AGAIN! Hey! I just deleted and cancelled every pending document in that thing. It just started doing what I call "the slug." It prints out a little bit on one page, pauses (for a long time), then prints out a little, and on and on. And the stupid thing keeps blinking, like it's actually working! P-shaw! Ugh!

So... I shut everything down. Then I felt ill.

This morning, I try a different tactic. I am (tired and grumpy) but trying to "act" like I'm calm and serene. It's really easy when you are very tired... So I calmly walk to the computer and turn it on. "There, now, baby... you've had a long night's rest..." (Sigh...) It decides to wake up slowly and takes its time to boot. (Sigh...) Log in... (Sigh...) "My this is taking a long time!" The hour glass (cursor) seems to be in that position for much longer than normal, and most of the Desktop icons are still in their larval state.

Some things just never started. Skype didn't start up automatically, neither did Yahoo Messenger, or the WeatherChannel (but hey! I already know it's cold outside!), or Smilebox... then what happens?

THE PRINTER WENT BERSERK AGAIN! What the heck? It starts spitting out stuff I could swear (but I won't) that I deleted yesterday. And guess what... I had even turned off the printer to clean out the cache. Yikes!

Hmm... let's review the symptoms. When did they start? My computer is old in comparison with a lot of others. Put it this way... there is no USB port on the outside of my tower. Uh, I had to add a card to get a USB connection to hook up the printer, when we got that. My memory is almost full... too full to do a defrag... Ok, so I have not exactly contributed to the health of my computer. However, all systems were go until I added Skype the other day.

No, don't get the wrong idea, it is not Skype's fault. I noticed that my headphones didn't work, so I can only "chat" through the keyboard and not actually talk aurally to someone. The sound would not register, and my computer did not pick up audio hardware. Could this be the beginning of something serious?

I will have to take it for a check up, especially since more things happened yesterday and today. For now, I will just have to baby my computer, and take it slowly. I think I'll let the two of us "sickies" take a little nap. After all, they are such children, and growing so quickly!

Toodles for now! lisa