Here is an awesome answer to my "squirrel" problem (Thanks Aunt Dianne! - sent via email):
There were five country churches in a small TEXAS town: the Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue. Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they [the Church] shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the BAPTIST CHURCH, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The METHODIST CHURCH got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But -- The CATHOLIC CHURCH came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard about the JEWISH SYNAGOGUE, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called "circumcision" and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
**As some of you can see... even though these things continue to eat my produce, I still have somewhat of a sense of humor and humanity. Although it's very trying at times, I still haven't quite gotten the bug to seriously rid myself of them. Plus, it would mean cutting down my lush grape vines to get to their home... It's just too pretty right now to do! (I think I'll probably do the thing I'm best at... and procrastinate... at least until the foliage dies off..)
For all who appreciate the outdoors .. . the rarely photographed South Florida Squirrel. (courtesy of Aunt Dianne)