Tonight, I finally watched "Julie & Julia". I know... for some of you that know me, you might think that I'm a little behind and you thought I would've seen it by now, especially since I love to cook so much. The truth is... I knew the premise, and I felt saddened.
How could I have let so much of life go by and not feel that kind of ambition, determination, or commitment? Julie Powell made a goal and braved it on. She had many deterrents and many errors, but she kept on. Even when she found out her idol (Julia Child) was disinterested in her work, she finished her project. And what have I done? What do I want to do? Who knows... least of all me.
As I'm sure some of you have done (and lots of others, too... as I've read their comments to the now famous Julie Powell), I felt a little inspired by her story. I felt the need to return to my blog and update it. I have been extremely neglectful in the past 6 or so months, but here I am. What to write about is another issue, all its own.
After I watched the movie, I researched Ms. Powell. She came out with another book recently and is touring the country with it. It seems much darker than her first book, but still with the brutal honesty of herself. Can I be that honest? We all have skeletons we would like to keep hidden, some more so than others. There are things that some people would rather we not publicize. Hmmm... so, once again... what to write about?
But again, back to the research... I read several things about Julie (Powell, of course, I feel like I know her well enough now to be on a first-name basis!). I told my daughter about the (SPOILER ALERT!!!) affair Julie had, that it sure was different from the "perfect marriage" we thought she had from the movie. I told my daughter about various other things. My daughter seems to think I go "full out" too much. I like to research things, to find out information, gather different opinions, get the "full" scope of the matter prior to forming my own. I like to know as much as I can about a subject (sorry Julie - I don't mean you are a subject!) as I possibly can, or as much as I can understand, since it is not always possible to understand everything.
As I sit here, writing this, I am again saddened... I simply adored the movie. It was quite delightful. However, at its end, I needed more. When I researched and found more, I was rather happy with the knowledge (not of the adultery, mind you, just that I learned more) I'd found. But it is hurtful when your own child(ren) thinks you know too much, or that you shouldn't do things completely ("full"). I would hope that I was instilling into my children that to do things 100% is the way to go. Did I miss sending this message? Let's hope that she (my daughter) means it when she says, "I didn't 'mean' it, Mom."
Maybe I shouldn't be so sad or feel such the failure. I have three great kids that are growing up well. If I didn't do things "full out", where would they be now? I have to laugh at myself, sometimes. We all do the "if" question, do we not? Sigh... enough rambling for tonight. I have to think about what to write!
By the way... if you haven't seen the movie (Julie & Julia), I suggest you do. It is truly an inspiration!